Determination is Everything

My title for this post honestly speaks for itself... I have shocked myself with how well I am handling everything and for how far I have come in only almost four months. This update will be short and random mainly because a lot of little things have happened along the way.

First off, I got a tattoo! It's small, but I love it. Purple ribbon with my diagnosis date and it couldn't be more perfect :)

On Sunday I move back up to Seattle to start my semester at Cornish and I honestly thought I wouldn't be able to make it back. Yes I am having an alternate schedule, but I will be in the environment that I love so much and that's all that matters. I beat the odds because of my determination.

Since I'm moving back soon, I have looked back at my past summer, of which I don't remember most of, and am shocked. It's almost impossible for me to think about where I was at in May to where I am now. I am honestly a completely different person. I have always had a huge work ethic, but I have learned to push through so much more than I thought possible. If I could make it through these past four months, there's nothing I can't accomplish. The world is at my feet, my cards have been dealt, and now I get to see what I can do with it.

Now that I am able to comprehend more and think about my future with Chiari, I have seen how much I personally want to educate the world around me about this chronic condition. I really want to use my blog as a way to connect people together and to help people understand my journey. As of late, I have been thinking that after I graduate with my BFA in dance from Cornish, I have a strong urge to get my Masters in Communications and possibly become part of a non profit organization or maybe even start my own to get more neuroscientists to research Chiari. Again, this is all in my dreams, but it's SO important for me to do this. Dance is for sure my calling, but I now need to share that calling with this new one. This dream is looking even brighter now because South Sound Talk, a local website newspaper focused on positive news/stories, is writing an article on my journey and I am beyond blessed for this opportunity! (More info. to come in the later weeks!)

Alrighty, last but not least, yes I am going back to school, but September is a HUGE month! September is Chiari awareness month! In fact, Niagara Falls will be lit up purple on September 3rd in honor of Chiari awareness month, and that just so happens to also be my 20th birthday! It was meant to be! September will also be the month that my article comes out (which I will of course share here) and that will be the jumpstart to my path of educating others. For the first time in a long time, I'm excited for what is to come. Thank you all for coming along on this journey with me! #CMstrong

3 Months & Counting

Hello everyone. It's about time for another update! Many things have happened in the past three weeks, but I just find it weird that I'm a day away from my three month post-op mark. It feels like it was just yesterday that I was still a freshman at Cornish moving out and trying to prepare for the surgery itself!

July 24th-31st I was able to be in Huntington Beach, CA with my best friend Megan! It was such a perfect getaway, nice and relaxing. It was so great to see her and to be able to escape my reality, even if it was just for a week. I could write about that trip for hours, so I will just keep it at that so I don't begin to ramble.

When I got home, I didn't give myself a break. The next day, I took a contemporary class, taught a class, and went to physical therapy and I did pretty well I have to say! I've been working really hard in my rehabilitation process with physical therapy and massage therapy and it's been helping a lot. At my 6 week appointment, I was put on a nerve pain medication called Gabapentin and just today my doctor told me to up my dose, so I'm hoping that will help my pain management even more. I'm only expected to stay on this medication until the end of September so I'm happy about that since there are side effects that I don't fully appreciate. Safe to say my road to surgery recovery is going as well as it can be.

It is now August 8th, meaning there are only three weeks until I move back up to Seattle to begin my sophomore year at Cornish! I'm really happy that I am in good enough shape to return as that was one of my worst fears going into surgery. For the fall semester however, I am not fully enrolled in all of the dance classes that sophomore's usually take. I will only be enrolled in modern and composition but I am hopefully able to audit classes as the semester goes on and I continue my recovery process. I still am taking 16/18 credits for the semester, so in that case I'm getting ahead with my academic credits needed for my BFA with taking Lighting Design, Creative Writing, Anatomy, and Epidemiology. It was hard mentally to have to drop all of those dance classes knowing that I didn't meet my personal goal of being able to return back full time, but if I think about it, that was a bit unrealistic. I keep forgetting that I am only 3 months out from surgery, but for only being 3 months out, I'm doing really great. The thing that breaks my heart the most is that I do not get to perform in the fall semester show of Cornish Dance Theater. I was looking forward to that the most. I'm really trying not to think about it, especially thinking about show week. At the same time though, so many of my Cornish friends have reached out to me reminding me how much love surrounds me, and that's what is going to keep me going as I ease back into my dancing. In the grand scheme of things, I'm so blessed for the opportunity to still be in the amazing environment that Cornish is while I am continuing my recovery process and trying to figure out how to balance my passion of dancing with a serious chronic illness. I am beyond ready for the challenge of a lifetime.

Today I spent a good hour contacting five different medical places in Seattle for appointments for when I move back up at the end of this month. It was absolutely exhausting, and I realized that this is probably what I'll be doing for many many years to come. I look back and remember the times when the only appointments I had were check ups for my pediatrician, dentist, and eye doctor. I miss that a lot, and I won't ever take my health for granted. I'm so grateful for the huge team of medical personnel, family, friends, and mentors to get me through all of this. #CMstrong