I have been nothing but positive throughout this whole endeavor which has helped immensely. I was talking to a parent of a dancer at my old studio backstage and she asked me two questions: Will I go back to Cornish and will I be able to dance again. When I replied saying that I don't know and that it's all up in the air, she felt very bad and apologized for asking those questions...but she asked the questions that are on everyone's mind and heart and the ones I tried to burry deep deep down. I have been doing my good ole research on alternate majors and schools in case that my worst fear comes true and dancing is taken away from me. It is beyond hard to even type this, but I have to face every single possibility that could happen to mentally prepare for whatever may come my way so that I can have courage when the unknown becomes the present.
I am determined. I am strong. I have to be, there is no other choice. This chronic illness that I will carry around with me for the rest of my life will not define me or take away who I truly am. I just need to figure out a new way to live. Yes, I do hope to dance once more and to return to Cornish in the fall. Honestly, after spending a full year in the most supportive and inspiring place, I can't imagine myself at a normal 4 year university. I know that art school is where I belong, I'm just hoping God agrees with me.
Physical update: I have been able to spread my pain relievers more throughout the day sometimes even waiting 8 hours to take another oxy pill. I get to drive by myself for the first time tomorrow (don't tell my neurosurgeon hehe). The biggest thing I deal with besides the pain from surgery is my level of fatigue, but Netflix and my puppies have been very great companions to me :) thank you all once again.
#CMstrong
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